Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
