The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
