so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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