I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
