Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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