addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Randomize
