you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Mom said you looked used
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
