Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize