nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
