3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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