I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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