So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
