I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
