I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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