Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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