just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I made him laugh his dick is mine
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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