lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize