best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
and she was petting her beer can
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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