well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
