Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
last night I used snow as a chaser
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