he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
