I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
