Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
