Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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