yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
