The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
