What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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