Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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