Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
