im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize