Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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