I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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