It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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