So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize