we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
