There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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