And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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