You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
