Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize