There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woke up backwards on a recliner
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
