let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
