I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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