Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
