That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
