You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
