i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Be still, my beating vagina.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
