Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
