So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
