Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
