it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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