And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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