if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
