I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
