So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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