Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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