I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
