I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
