I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
