chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
